I love old pictures, whether I'm in them or not. I do happen to be in this one. That would be me in the center, the one looking very bashful. That's because I was...very bashful. Now that I'm an adult (ahem), I refer to myself as 'shy'. Same meaning, just a more grown-up sounding word. I'm nowhere near as bashful now, er shy, as I was as a youngster. I find that the more I learn of my worth to God, the more worthy I feel. With that worth comes confidence. That said, I'll never be the extrovert life of the party, but I'm doing better at holding my own these days.
Speaking of these days, my life seems rather slow lately, and yet time is flying by at warp speed. I hear different ones speak of their 'summer plans'. Usually it revolves around that time between when their kids get out of school and when they return in the fall. With my kids grown and living their own lives, I miss those punctuations of summer. One day seems to roll into the next, one season into another.
I'm feeling like life is standing still. My energy is lagging. My desire to create is still in place, but lacking it's previous passion. Things that used to excite me seem bland; whether it's going out with friends, knitting, reading, etc., I can't seem to strike up a genuine interest. It's not that I'm depressed, per se, and have never been one prone to depression. I'm not really sure what's wrong with me. Does the 'change of life' cause these feelings, I wonder? I'm there, for certain. My life is changing.
Okay, enough of that.
Our family went camping last month in the Lake Ouashita State Park, in Arkansas, our second year in a row to do so. It was a beautiful campground, and the lake water is as clear as any I've ever seen. Mr. Studley's kids and their families all joined us, as well as Nikki, who flew in from England (again, twice in two months!). She spent her two week vacation with us, or "holiday", as they say in the UK. Everyone camped in tents by the water except for Mr. S and I, who stayed in our lovely air-conditioned travel trailer. Let me tell you, it was H.O.T while we were there. I spent more time indoors with the a/c than outside with the kids and grandkids. That kind of heat is for the young, not for mid-life, hot-flash stage, women such as myself. Heat aside, we did have a blast, and it was so nice having Nikki there with us this year.
I've done little knitting in recent weeks, with the exception of dishcloths. I love the Waffle Knit pattern found at Homespun Living, and I am really liking knitting them in Sugar'n'Cream cotton self-striping yarn. I wish I had a picture to share with you. I have some blocking now, and will hopefully take some pics in the next couple of days. The aqua colors are my favorite. They remind me of the ocean, with the layers of blue.
Speaking of the ocean, I think that's where I'd like to be. Cool ocean water lapping at my toes. Sounds dreamy. Summer has come early for us this year. June was terribly hot. We had a fairly decent beginning of July, but now the heat and humidity that we're known for has arrived full force, forcing the commencement of my hibernation indoors in air-conditioning (and I thank God we have it). Maybe that's why I'm feeling melancholy. Maybe it's cabin fever. I wish. I wish I were in a cabin on a mountain, or by an ocean.
Clearly, I'm rambling. I think I better stop before someone tips off the men in the clean white coats. Speaking of which, who's old enough to remember that 60's song, "They're Coming To Take Me Away"? I was about ten when that song came out. My older brother and I probably drove our poor mother nuts singing it over and over. Good times. Younger times of days gone by. Speaking of which, this day has gone by. It's the wee AM hours of Sunday, and I'd best be making my way to my comfy bed. Maybe the overhead fan will prompt me to dream of lying on a sandy beach with cool ocean breezes. Pass me a Mai Tai and some sunscreen, please. That would be loverly.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
~Matthew 11:28-30 the Message