Sunday, July 18, 2010

Easy Like Sunday Morning

I love old pictures, whether I'm in them or not. I do happen to be in this one. That would be me in the center, the one looking very bashful. That's because I was...very bashful. Now that I'm an adult (ahem), I refer to myself as 'shy'. Same meaning, just a more grown-up sounding word. I'm nowhere near as bashful now, er shy, as I was as a youngster. I find that the more I learn of my worth to God, the more worthy I feel. With that worth comes confidence. That said, I'll never be the extrovert life of the party, but I'm doing better at holding my own these days.

Speaking of these days, my life seems rather slow lately, and yet time is flying by at warp speed. I hear different ones speak of their 'summer plans'. Usually it revolves around that time between when their kids get out of school and when they return in the fall. With my kids grown and living their own lives, I miss those punctuations of summer. One day seems to roll into the next, one season into another.
I'm feeling like life is standing still. My energy is lagging. My desire to create is still in place, but lacking it's previous passion. Things that used to excite me seem bland; whether it's going out with friends, knitting, reading, etc., I can't seem to strike up a genuine interest. It's not that I'm depressed, per se, and have never been one prone to depression. I'm not really sure what's wrong with me. Does the 'change of life' cause these feelings, I wonder? I'm there, for certain. My life is changing.

Okay, enough of that.
Our family went camping last month in the Lake Ouashita State Park, in Arkansas, our second year in a row to do so. It was a beautiful campground, and the lake water is as clear as any I've ever seen. Mr. Studley's kids and their families all joined us, as well as Nikki, who flew in from England (again, twice in two months!). She spent her two week vacation with us, or "holiday", as they say in the UK. Everyone camped in tents by the water except for Mr. S and I, who stayed in our lovely air-conditioned travel trailer. Let me tell you, it was H.O.T while we were there. I spent more time indoors with the a/c than outside with the kids and grandkids. That kind of heat is for the young, not for mid-life, hot-flash stage, women such as myself. Heat aside, we did have a blast, and it was so nice having Nikki there with us this year.

I've done little knitting in recent weeks, with the exception of dishcloths. I love the Waffle Knit pattern found at Homespun Living, and I am really liking knitting them in Sugar'n'Cream cotton self-striping yarn. I wish I had a picture to share with you. I have some blocking now, and will hopefully take some pics in the next couple of days. The aqua colors are my favorite. They remind me of the ocean, with the layers of blue.
Speaking of the ocean, I think that's where I'd like to be. Cool ocean water lapping at my toes. Sounds dreamy. Summer has come early for us this year. June was terribly hot. We had a fairly decent beginning of July, but now the heat and humidity that we're known for has arrived full force, forcing the commencement of my hibernation indoors in air-conditioning (and I thank God we have it). Maybe that's why I'm feeling melancholy. Maybe it's cabin fever. I wish. I wish I were in a cabin on a mountain, or by an ocean.
Clearly, I'm rambling. I think I better stop before someone tips off the men in the clean white coats. Speaking of which, who's old enough to remember that 60's song, "They're Coming To Take Me Away"? I was about ten when that song came out. My older brother and I probably drove our poor mother nuts singing it over and over. Good times. Younger times of days gone by. Speaking of which, this day has gone by. It's the wee AM hours of Sunday, and I'd best be making my way to my comfy bed. Maybe the overhead fan will prompt me to dream of lying on a sandy beach with cool ocean breezes. Pass me a Mai Tai and some sunscreen, please. That would be loverly.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
~Matthew 11:28-30 the Message


Tea said...

What a fabulous photo! I like looking at old pictures, also, and that's a good one. Ah, the good ol' days.

Hmm.. I'm a-thinkin' you're in a lull similar to the one I've been dabblin' in for a while. Lately, I really couldn't care less if I knit or nap; it's all the same. And I have been sendin' up daily thanks for air-conditioning this summer, too. We already had July weather in June, and now it's back again.
Stay cool. ;)

Debra said...

Hello Dearheart,
I sure do remember that song. Kinda spooky, huh? There were a lot of weird songs like that back then.
I might have the same doldrums you have, but I know it'll pass...
So good to hear from ya, and love the picture!

Wool Winder said...

I love seeing the old photos.

I'm not a doctor, of course, but what you are saying about the way you feel sounds like the classic symptoms of depression. I hope you get to feeling like your old self soon.

Marguerite said...
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Marguerite said...

Oh I remember that song!

Sounds like you and I have the same thing, and I also refuse to call it depression. Do you remember biorhythms? How bout we call it a biorhythmic psycological low?

I call myself introverted instead of 'shy'. Introvert implies I'm capable of deep and intelligent thoughts but I like to keep them to myself.:-)

elizabeth said...

Yes I DO remember that song! :)

Could be depression, could be the stage of life. We're finished with the busy part of our summer and as we sat last night I told Keith that we had nothing to look forward to now. We both laughed as it sounded terrible, but I just meant that now it's the two of us for sure with nothing on the horizon.

Apron Thrift Girl said...

When I was reading your post, my first thought was to actually look at the food you eat. My mind and moods are extremely influenced by food. In the late winter/early spring I was feeling very similar to you. In a way, I sometimes feel sort of dead inside or numb. I even slowed down on the thrifting if that tells you anything :-) I changed my diet from this fabulous book I picked up and felt overall better since. The nice thing about food is that it's pretty cheap and easy to try.

Liz Owen said...

I can understand your state of mind. I've been there, from time to time. Just wait. You'll see. Something will change, something will come around the corner and you'll find yourself excited once again. God bless you Renna!

PS.. I've camped at that lake before. I BET it was hot. I'm barely sticking a toe outside the house if I can help it.

Isle Dance said...

((((Renna)))) :o)

Chambray Blue said...
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Chambray Blue said...

Wow. The introvert-ness. The hot flashes. The feelings you are having... I feel like I've found my double LOL. I do thank God for my grandchildren which He gave me when I was feeling just about as hopeless as I could feel. They are my angels. Gracie (my Cockapoo) helps me as well, with her daily unconditional love. Your post was enjoyed... and I no longer feel alone in the world. I must go now... They're coming to take me away... ho ho hee hee. God bless! bobbi

Karen said...

I love the way the British say "holiday", it makes it sound like such fun.

I have been so missing the ocean this summer. I often find myself thinking of our trip to the beach last summer, and I just long to be there, on the sand, feeling the ocean breeze. I've been in a bit of a funk this summer, since we have no "holiday" planned. Trying to make the best of it, but I do understand what you're feeling, too.

Bev said...

Does change of life bring that - holy smokes does it! Add the heat of the summer and it'd make anyone not want to do much. Most encouraging verse in the Bible - "and it came to pass" - this too will.

And I LOVE the waffle pattern on Deb's Homespun Living blog too - so fun to knit.

Sarah said...

Maybe it's just the summer blahs. Ever since my sister's wedding in May, I have had absolutely no drive to work on my projects. I just wander aimlessly from one to another without accomplishing anything worth blogging about. :)
BTW, I like the translation you used for the Bible verse - I'm not really a fan of the Message, but every so often they hit the nail on the head!
God Bless