Monday, February 1, 2010

The prodigal...daughter?

I've started a new post a many times in my mind the past few (several?) months. Have you ever put off doing something, you knew needed doing, so long it reached the point where finally doing it would garrishly spotlight the depths of your ability to procrastinate? Rather than face the embarrassment of having that ugly truth publicly revealed about yourself, it becomes simpler to just never do that thing. No? I have.

That 'thing' for me has been to write a new post on my blog. It's embarrassing, because many of you have either written me, or posted concerned comments for my welfare. I seemingly blatantly ignored you. I'm probably not even writing this to you, because, no doubt, you've long since written me off as a blog flake, a name I deserve.

I've thought of a hundred things I'd like to post about here, in recent months, but have always been stopped from doing so by knowing I had to first write a re-entry post. I apologize to you who I ignored. I have no excuse, other than that I am a clout. God's working on me. I really am sorry.

Okay, moving on, as Mr.Studley says when things are getting bogged down. I need to find a place of balance in blogging, in both reading and writing. When receiving comments to my blog posts, I have always felt a responsibility to then go and comment on my commentor's blogs. Not to say all my comments on others' blogs have been done in a dutiful sense, but yes, that's what initially begins my commenting there. As I gained readers (and commentors), the number of blogs I was visiting and commenting on, grew. Add to that, the blogs I read and enjoyed who have never (to my knowledge) even visited my blog (mostly knitting blogs), and much of my day was spent blog reading, and commenting.

I was on overload. Try as I might, I could not find a happy balance. Many times, I tried eliminating blogs I read, but there were so few I could cut out, as I enjoyed them all so much. I like peeking into your lives, getting to know you, but I finally reached that point where I couldn't do it all, so therefore I did nothing. I know this may all seem a bit overly dramatic to some, who may even be thinking I need to just 'get over myself'. It's not like I'm even a big-time blogger who gets dozens of comments per day (hardly); but it's been a struggle for me, nonetheless.

Returning here doesn't mean I've figured out what to do about it. Rather, that I've missed you guys, sharing with you here, and reading what you share. I've started reading blogs again (in Google Reader), just not commenting. I'll be seeking to find that happy balance, which shouldn't be too hard, since my readers have probably dropped down to one or two by now. ;-)
As to knitting, I pretty much backed off it about the same time I quit blogging. I did pick up my needles again during the holiday season, making a few small gifts, most of which I forgot to photograph. I do have a few pictures, though, which I'll be sharing here soon.

It already feels good to be back. :-)

Likewise, ye younger, be subject unto the elder. Yea, all of you gird yourselves with humility, to serve one another: for God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace to the humble.
~1 Peter 5:5 (American Standard Version)